Mini-post: Ugly Truth - Addendum to 'Mitosis'
"The ugly truth makes every one of us a liar" ~Matthew Sweet, Ugly Truth
"Not knowing everything is all that makes it okay, sometimes." ~Delirium, Sandman: Brief Lives
I completely forgot to mention it. Therapy session today. She's pretty much done with being nice and playing along with my delusions. I need to work on actively getting over him and changing my way of thinking about all this. Need to be able to accept the ugly truth behind all this justifying and false hopes and get over him, start making some progress. He doesn't care about me, he's let me down, he's not worth trusting or worrying over. Logical self knows this, told me this all along. Logical self also despises me for falling for him. I despise me, or rather, despise this behavior in women. Still includes me, anyway. I can believe the stuff in all the self help books, about how he's a coward, about how he really cares more for himself than anyone else, how he's probably not losing any sleep over any of this, and knows exactly what he's done to me (okay, fine, half of me can, and the other half would rather go insane, if it allows her to stay happy; see previous post). I just can't believe that other stuff, the bits they throw in to make the reader feel good about herself. The "you go girl!" lines they feed you every other paragraph or so, I'm finding that pretty hard to relate to, or something, but they just don't make me feel any better.
FYI: Reading something called Bittergirl and the Breakup Repair Kit, because the book I was told to find, He's Just Not That Into You, is not in stock at any Barnes and Noble stores, at least (I was at Ala Moana and although I hear Borders carries it, they made sure to close down before B&N opened up, so looks like a job for Amazon).
And I'm still confused.
"Not knowing everything is all that makes it okay, sometimes." ~Delirium, Sandman: Brief Lives
I completely forgot to mention it. Therapy session today. She's pretty much done with being nice and playing along with my delusions. I need to work on actively getting over him and changing my way of thinking about all this. Need to be able to accept the ugly truth behind all this justifying and false hopes and get over him, start making some progress. He doesn't care about me, he's let me down, he's not worth trusting or worrying over. Logical self knows this, told me this all along. Logical self also despises me for falling for him. I despise me, or rather, despise this behavior in women. Still includes me, anyway. I can believe the stuff in all the self help books, about how he's a coward, about how he really cares more for himself than anyone else, how he's probably not losing any sleep over any of this, and knows exactly what he's done to me (okay, fine, half of me can, and the other half would rather go insane, if it allows her to stay happy; see previous post). I just can't believe that other stuff, the bits they throw in to make the reader feel good about herself. The "you go girl!" lines they feed you every other paragraph or so, I'm finding that pretty hard to relate to, or something, but they just don't make me feel any better.
FYI: Reading something called Bittergirl and the Breakup Repair Kit, because the book I was told to find, He's Just Not That Into You, is not in stock at any Barnes and Noble stores, at least (I was at Ala Moana and although I hear Borders carries it, they made sure to close down before B&N opened up, so looks like a job for Amazon).
And I'm still confused.
posted by Chris at 1:37 AM
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