More of the same
Went for a walk just a little while ago. Up to the usual spot to look at the quarter moon and stars, only the mountains blocked my view of the moon, and clouds obscured the stars (poo). Met a kitty en route - cute calico one with big eyes, must've belonged to the house it was in front of since it had a collar and bell. Showed interest in me but wouldn't come down off the wall of the house. I'll have to keep an eye out for it next time.
Lots of people out and about tonight. Football party near the church, with moke-ish guys yelling and drinking beer and whatever guys do at football things. FOB Japanese girl in high heels, talking on her cell and carrying schoolbooks, walking out of a house and up the street to hers, I would assume. Zen monk looking guy (bald head, sandals, tabi, robes) also walking up the street and talking on his phone. Old lady walking her dog. Various cars, coming and going. Rob's mom picking up his brother from work and bringing him back. Just goes to show that there are fewer and fewer retirees out here, I guess, since so many people are up at this hour (not to mention that several of the cars were ricemobiles).
No Valium tonight, although grandma insisted I up my dosage of Valerian - it's not doing anything, by the way. I may have to start taking full-sized doses of sleeping pills after this, to keep my family happy (my dad and uncle are now very worried about me because I am not up early enough for their comfort on weekends). And I have to hurry and get a job, since they decided not to hire me at the other store - I got a phone call with a guy reading off some sheet of paper: "We're, uh, sorry, but. after. the. results. of, uh. your interview. and your application. we. have. decided, uh, on a more... experienced. candidate..." I'd guess it was because I wouldn't commit to a permanent position with them, and possibly because I was seen later going into the store and staying for a couple hours (when Rob pulled me aside to talk).
Oh well, you don't see me losing sleep over it. Ironically even if I wasn't hired there, I am still semi-banned from the store, though - Rob did say that he didn't like how I was coming by so "often" (er, once or twice a week?), so I guess I have to keep my visits down to once a week or less. He also doesn't seem to like me hanging out and talking to people, so that'll have to stop I guess. If anyone asks why I'm leaving so soon (they tend to even if I've already been there over an hour), I can just tell them it's on Rob's request - they can ask him for an explanation; he can make something up. Well... knowing me, I'll probably cover for him a little bit.
. . . . .
I stopped to think for a while. Tried to see my future. It's not very clear anymore. Ordered the bench press to make my own buttons and... then what? Can I make enough money with my own little business by itself? Probably not... but I can't count on having a fun job that I can moonlight in where my boss will support me and give me the time and resources to keep doing my own thing - not anymore. I can't rely on family (never really did, not willingly anyway). And I can't really see anything very well beyond a few months from now. I don't know...
Lots of people out and about tonight. Football party near the church, with moke-ish guys yelling and drinking beer and whatever guys do at football things. FOB Japanese girl in high heels, talking on her cell and carrying schoolbooks, walking out of a house and up the street to hers, I would assume. Zen monk looking guy (bald head, sandals, tabi, robes) also walking up the street and talking on his phone. Old lady walking her dog. Various cars, coming and going. Rob's mom picking up his brother from work and bringing him back. Just goes to show that there are fewer and fewer retirees out here, I guess, since so many people are up at this hour (not to mention that several of the cars were ricemobiles).
No Valium tonight, although grandma insisted I up my dosage of Valerian - it's not doing anything, by the way. I may have to start taking full-sized doses of sleeping pills after this, to keep my family happy (my dad and uncle are now very worried about me because I am not up early enough for their comfort on weekends). And I have to hurry and get a job, since they decided not to hire me at the other store - I got a phone call with a guy reading off some sheet of paper: "We're, uh, sorry, but. after. the. results. of, uh. your interview. and your application. we. have. decided, uh, on a more... experienced. candidate..." I'd guess it was because I wouldn't commit to a permanent position with them, and possibly because I was seen later going into the store and staying for a couple hours (when Rob pulled me aside to talk).
Oh well, you don't see me losing sleep over it. Ironically even if I wasn't hired there, I am still semi-banned from the store, though - Rob did say that he didn't like how I was coming by so "often" (er, once or twice a week?), so I guess I have to keep my visits down to once a week or less. He also doesn't seem to like me hanging out and talking to people, so that'll have to stop I guess. If anyone asks why I'm leaving so soon (they tend to even if I've already been there over an hour), I can just tell them it's on Rob's request - they can ask him for an explanation; he can make something up. Well... knowing me, I'll probably cover for him a little bit.
. . . . .
I stopped to think for a while. Tried to see my future. It's not very clear anymore. Ordered the bench press to make my own buttons and... then what? Can I make enough money with my own little business by itself? Probably not... but I can't count on having a fun job that I can moonlight in where my boss will support me and give me the time and resources to keep doing my own thing - not anymore. I can't rely on family (never really did, not willingly anyway). And I can't really see anything very well beyond a few months from now. I don't know...
posted by Chris at 12:10 AM
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