Just like Alice
You know, as in Wonderland. You know what that story means to me? I think it's an allegory - Alice is the only sane person in a world where everyone is crazy, and nobody notices that it's all complete nonsense except Alice, who is always dismissed and pushed around. Like being a child in a world of adults, where everything they do is weirdly inscrutable and nobody listens to you and you just go and get acted upon and made to things that make no sense, because you're just a little kid.
Something like that, anyway.
Feel a little like Alice myself a lot of the time. Get pushed around, and everyone keeps trying to get me to do the stupid pointless things they do for no other reason than that they do it. It makes me feel tired. Frustrated. Want to scream and cry and bleed or just crawl into bed and lie there till I die. Needless to say feeling that way now. Going to go into detail maybe later.
Everybody wants what's best for me. But nobody seems to be able to figure out what that is. Despite my showing them. Over and over.
All ways are my way.
We're all mad here.
Something like that, anyway.
Feel a little like Alice myself a lot of the time. Get pushed around, and everyone keeps trying to get me to do the stupid pointless things they do for no other reason than that they do it. It makes me feel tired. Frustrated. Want to scream and cry and bleed or just crawl into bed and lie there till I die. Needless to say feeling that way now. Going to go into detail maybe later.
Everybody wants what's best for me. But nobody seems to be able to figure out what that is. Despite my showing them. Over and over.
All ways are my way.
We're all mad here.
posted by Chris at 11:07 PM
5 Comments:
Actually, you can call me whenever you like. But if you're tired of hanging out that's okay too. And no, that comment is not to guilt trip you into calling me up and making an arrangement to go out when you don't want to.
Just that when you do, give me a ring :) Btw I can drop off that Castlevania any time.
And really.. don't feel so down that no one calls you. No one calls me either. I probably should even just message and say hi every so often sometimes *^-^* But also.. if all of us are sitting around waiting for calls rather than calling, then we wouldn't be talking at all to anyone. But, we shouldn't force ourselves to call people unless we want to. When you want to call, then do *^-^* I really should take my own advice.. and I do but that also means I call some people very late.. like weeks later sometiems.
But anyway. I thought of a place you might be able to wear your dress. Opera perhaps? Mike was talking about an opera that's coming to town (not the current one playing). It might be a chance... to wear the dress you want to wear so much *^-^*
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OH! I just remembered...trying to bust ass and get stuff together for the Kawaii-Kon. Errm...maybe we should do that this weekend? Get together and plan what we're going to do and stuff?
Hrmmm...re-writing post since I just read "the black" blog. Well...I had a feeling you were feeling that way, Chris...so I wasn't sure what was a good way to approach things. I'm not sure if you WANT to hang out anymore...or if you're just wanting to force yourself to get out...for the sake of getting out. I get the feeling a lot of us just wait around for someone else to call first, but I'm always up for hanging out...or at least trying to plan something. I'm not really available for spontaneous outings...but planning is always good. But...that's up to you. You let us know what you want to do. We don't want to push...but we (okay, "I". Can't speak for everyone else here) also don't want to feel like our company sucks now (or makes you feel worse) and you're just forcing yourself to be with us. =P So...you wanna hang out? Or do you want us to just leave you the heck alone? I'm not telepathic...but I AM emphatic. I can feel...but it doesn't mean I always understand. And since you don't always specifically mention names in your blogs, especially when speaking about your "friends", I can't tell who are the ones being imposing/irritating and who are being negligent.
yeah.. I don't know if you're talking about us in general or someone in specific... and in a lot of posts it sounds like everyone is just not doing anything right at all.
So I wonder what to really do. The bottom line is, I don't want you to be unhappy. But if that's how you'd like to be, maybe let us know.
It's funny though.. sometimes I would be totally content with being unhappy. It was a way of living that was comfortable for me.
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